Haven't had much time with internet this week. I don't have any long entry for y'all just a quick update.
Honestly things have been rough at home. I have been dealing with "stuff" with the girls and now understand how single parents feel. God is really teaching me a lot about what playing the parent role is. My good friend Sue (also their counselor) has been giving me advice on what appropriate disciplinary actions are and how to reinforce my "authority". Things get complicated with discipline because they are adults so I have been approaching everything very carefully. Although God has given me a heart for mothering, it doesn't make the job any easier. A lot of you moms who are reading this are probably going "tell me about it!" But remember,- this is all very new to me! God has been really testing me, growing me, and challenging me through these past two weeks. Although I don't struggle with material possessiveness, God has been breaking down every ounce of care for anything I could even see as "mine". "My" clothes, shoes, food, money, guitar, all of that, I had been previously labeling as "my things" in my head. With recent situations and such God is really pounding out me even calling them "mine". Everything is God's. We may or may not acknowledge that.
This morning I took the older of the two ladies, to a skills training center. What an incredible facility/program they have! As soon as we sort through some paper work she will be enrolled there as a student. Upon completion of her training (12-16 months), she can either try and get a job or further her education in university. She is so very excited and I am as well! I am so proud of the progress she has made in the past two weeks. I can't wait to see what brilliant things God will do with her future.
Please continue to pray for me as God is bringing me into a season where things get "messy". Things have been difficult and I know that this is only the beginning. This is probably all jumbled and may not make sense but I just wanted to through a quick update on things for all those supporting and keeping up with adventures here. Be blessed! I know I am.
Thursday, 29 August 2013
Wednesday, 21 August 2013
Dumpster Diving; I Am My Father's Daughter
I will now proceed to tell tales of my younger days... please excuse the stupidity.
We were experts. The craft: dumpster diving.
We knew all the sweet spots; where we can find this and that; the good and the not-so-good. When the clock hit 11 or 12 we would head out- the less amount of people who saw, the less awkward (also because it is illegal in California). It seriously is incredible what people will throw out! Don't worry, I am not a hoarder. One time, I found multiple untouched boxes of biscuit mix. After testing them out (they were great!) me and some friends baked them and gave them out to our homeless friends who happily chowed them. Another time, I found a bag of the best tangerines I've had- to this day- and a box of dog treats for my pups! Okay, the tangerines were laying next to the dumpster in a box, but still! I have also found this big rolling energy drink cooler that my friend now uses for parties and get togethers. Oh! And my favorite was when we found this huge 5' 5" tractor tire and decided to push it up a flight of stairs and let go... it took on incredible speed and with a couple leaping bounds smashed into a few rows of baking trays. We did not intend to bowl, but if we were keeping score, it was one of the coolest and scariest "strikes" I have seen. I don't remember the first time I got the idea to try my luck in this trade, but I know that I got the mentality from my dad.
My dad is one of the most creatively useful people I know. He owns just about every tool imaginable and is a "saver" (nice word because my parents read my blog-love you dad!); the perfect combination for creatio ex nihilo- a latin theological term meaning "creation out of nothing." For example, one Christmas Eve he erected this long pole he made out of pieces of PVC pipe with an old sprinkler head fixed to the top and a hose attached to the bottom. He left it on over night and in the morning we had a beautiful "white Christmas" in our back yard with a tree full of huge icicles. That gift was close competition with the material presents under the Christmas tree. Come summer, the contraption would serve as one heck of a mister on a hot summer day as well. He is a painter by trade, and so he would save all of the extra paint from his jobs. Our roof had a lot of leaks and so every winter we would try to re-patch the roof with the old paint to try and fight off some of the rain. -What a sight our roof must have been from the air! Or one time, he built us a little fort next to the wood pile out of an old garage door, bean bag game(he used the little whole for a window), and used carpet. He's crafty like that. And of course, I am my father's daughter… so naturally, I make furniture for my house out of scrap wood, free paint, and bricks I found, or a coffee table out of old tires. Point being, cool thing come out of a dumpster.
As I was hit by nostalgia the other night, accidentally day dreaming through prayer, Jesus reeled me back in by 'saying', "Yeah, that's what I do." So true! We start off generally clean in life, and somewhere along the way we decide to jump in the dumpster and we sift through the trash and sin and darkness looking for something, -really anything worth grabbing on to. Then, Jesus comes along and puts out His hand. And once we are smart enough to take His help, He pulls us out. He finds that "gem" in all the mess. Through our brokenness we become aware of how in need of a Redeemer, a Creator, a Re-Creator we are. The rad thing is that God only makes beauty. He also never wastes a hurt or bad decision. He's crafty like that. So what happens to us? We become useful. We become beauty.
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" 2 Corinthians 5:17
We were experts. The craft: dumpster diving.
We knew all the sweet spots; where we can find this and that; the good and the not-so-good. When the clock hit 11 or 12 we would head out- the less amount of people who saw, the less awkward (also because it is illegal in California). It seriously is incredible what people will throw out! Don't worry, I am not a hoarder. One time, I found multiple untouched boxes of biscuit mix. After testing them out (they were great!) me and some friends baked them and gave them out to our homeless friends who happily chowed them. Another time, I found a bag of the best tangerines I've had- to this day- and a box of dog treats for my pups! Okay, the tangerines were laying next to the dumpster in a box, but still! I have also found this big rolling energy drink cooler that my friend now uses for parties and get togethers. Oh! And my favorite was when we found this huge 5' 5" tractor tire and decided to push it up a flight of stairs and let go... it took on incredible speed and with a couple leaping bounds smashed into a few rows of baking trays. We did not intend to bowl, but if we were keeping score, it was one of the coolest and scariest "strikes" I have seen. I don't remember the first time I got the idea to try my luck in this trade, but I know that I got the mentality from my dad.
My dad is one of the most creatively useful people I know. He owns just about every tool imaginable and is a "saver" (nice word because my parents read my blog-love you dad!); the perfect combination for creatio ex nihilo- a latin theological term meaning "creation out of nothing." For example, one Christmas Eve he erected this long pole he made out of pieces of PVC pipe with an old sprinkler head fixed to the top and a hose attached to the bottom. He left it on over night and in the morning we had a beautiful "white Christmas" in our back yard with a tree full of huge icicles. That gift was close competition with the material presents under the Christmas tree. Come summer, the contraption would serve as one heck of a mister on a hot summer day as well. He is a painter by trade, and so he would save all of the extra paint from his jobs. Our roof had a lot of leaks and so every winter we would try to re-patch the roof with the old paint to try and fight off some of the rain. -What a sight our roof must have been from the air! Or one time, he built us a little fort next to the wood pile out of an old garage door, bean bag game(he used the little whole for a window), and used carpet. He's crafty like that. And of course, I am my father's daughter… so naturally, I make furniture for my house out of scrap wood, free paint, and bricks I found, or a coffee table out of old tires. Point being, cool thing come out of a dumpster.
As I was hit by nostalgia the other night, accidentally day dreaming through prayer, Jesus reeled me back in by 'saying', "Yeah, that's what I do." So true! We start off generally clean in life, and somewhere along the way we decide to jump in the dumpster and we sift through the trash and sin and darkness looking for something, -really anything worth grabbing on to. Then, Jesus comes along and puts out His hand. And once we are smart enough to take His help, He pulls us out. He finds that "gem" in all the mess. Through our brokenness we become aware of how in need of a Redeemer, a Creator, a Re-Creator we are. The rad thing is that God only makes beauty. He also never wastes a hurt or bad decision. He's crafty like that. So what happens to us? We become useful. We become beauty.
"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" 2 Corinthians 5:17
Monday, 19 August 2013
My Finicky Heart
Last winter/summer (depending on where you live) I took part in an internship for Jabulani Africa Ministries (http://www.jamafrica.org.za) from beginning of June till a bit after August. I had no idea what to expect going to South Africa my first time. As I flew in to Cape Town over the gorgeous mountains, the townships with houses made of trash and tin, my heart melted along with the purple glow of dawn. The journey to this journey was rough. Some complications arose I ended up flying in two week earlier than the team I would be interning with. Looking back, it was much better that way as it allowed God to personally connect with me and South Africa without the distraction of my good friends. I arrived around 6:00am and was immediately immersed in the ministry of JAM- jet lag never had a chance to catch up. We went to a township an hour away from the base- we lived in a WWII army base on the side of a mountain that was set up during the war "just in case". After loving on and sharing the gospel with a butt load of kids who had next to nothing we headed home. My tired mind was flooded with the day's experiences. And then I had THE thought that God planted... "Yeah God, I could live here." Little did I know what BIG things would come from that little thought.
Long story short, Westside Family Church (from Kansas), who I am now helping start an international campus for as their youth ministry director, partnered with JAM to do a youth outreach over the whole of South Africa asked me to come and work for them. Surprised and completely caught off guard, the to-be worship pastor for the South African campus and global impacts pastor for the Kansas one and I prayed every night together for two weeks. And then God said "Go." By then, South Africa had won my heart time and time again with God's beautiful people and languages, the gross worms I ate, cold floors I slept on, paralyzing sunsets, and the immense need for love in a poverty stricken country. And since then, there has been this love affair with my home, and my home.
It is a hard thing to live so far from those you love most. This has been one of my biggest struggles living here. Chatting with Jesus I would battle through the confusion of why He would give me such love for things so far apart. I would live in the joy of obeying God's will of me serving in this beautiful country during the day and long for the joy of being with my loved ones at night. And then, Jesus answered. "No place, no people have your heart. I do."
Hebrews 13:14-21 "For this world is not our home; we are looking forward to our city in heaven, which is yet to come. With Jesus' help, let us continually offer our sacrifice of praise to God by proclaiming the glory of his name. Don't forget to do good and to share what you have with those in need, for such sacrifices are very pleasing to God. Obey your spiritual leaders and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls, and they know they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this joyfully and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit. Pray for us, for our conscience is clear and we want to live honorably in everything we do.I especially need your prayers right now so that I can come back to you soon. And now, may the God of peace, who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, all that is pleasing to him. Jesus is the great Shepherd of the sheep by an everlasting covenant, signed with his blood. To him be glory forever and ever. Amen."
My finicky heart gets too needy and full of so many things and people I love to love. Yet, too often I forget to love the One it belongs to, Jesus.
Long story short, Westside Family Church (from Kansas), who I am now helping start an international campus for as their youth ministry director, partnered with JAM to do a youth outreach over the whole of South Africa asked me to come and work for them. Surprised and completely caught off guard, the to-be worship pastor for the South African campus and global impacts pastor for the Kansas one and I prayed every night together for two weeks. And then God said "Go." By then, South Africa had won my heart time and time again with God's beautiful people and languages, the gross worms I ate, cold floors I slept on, paralyzing sunsets, and the immense need for love in a poverty stricken country. And since then, there has been this love affair with my home, and my home.
It is a hard thing to live so far from those you love most. This has been one of my biggest struggles living here. Chatting with Jesus I would battle through the confusion of why He would give me such love for things so far apart. I would live in the joy of obeying God's will of me serving in this beautiful country during the day and long for the joy of being with my loved ones at night. And then, Jesus answered. "No place, no people have your heart. I do."
Hebrews 13:14-21 "For this world is not our home; we are looking forward to our city in heaven, which is yet to come. With Jesus' help, let us continually offer our sacrifice of praise to God by proclaiming the glory of his name. Don't forget to do good and to share what you have with those in need, for such sacrifices are very pleasing to God. Obey your spiritual leaders and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls, and they know they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this joyfully and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit. Pray for us, for our conscience is clear and we want to live honorably in everything we do.I especially need your prayers right now so that I can come back to you soon. And now, may the God of peace, who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, all that is pleasing to him. Jesus is the great Shepherd of the sheep by an everlasting covenant, signed with his blood. To him be glory forever and ever. Amen."
My finicky heart gets too needy and full of so many things and people I love to love. Yet, too often I forget to love the One it belongs to, Jesus.
Monday, 12 August 2013
I Am a Mountain.
"[I]f you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you." - Matthew 17:20
I have been thinking over this verse for the past few weeks. What I have come to realize is that in the past, I have prayed for the faith to move the external mountains in my situations (money, broken car, lack of sleep, ministry). God has recently been showing me that the far bigger mountain to move is, well- me. As I turn my focus inward to my faith, my joys, my desires, my folly, my tendencies to screw up and ask God to help me move those mountains first, the external "mountains" now become tiny hills or just a bumpy road. The biggest wall to break through is my own spiritual barricades. Once I surrender those to God and we work them out, everything else seems easy traveling.
A recent mountain I have been moving :
I came into this new season knowing that it would be difficult. But I think I may have underestimated it just a tad. I am so excited for everything that God has in store but prayers are more than welcomes. My faith is growing wonders even in the first week as I wake up early to seek God for the strength and wisdom to lead us towards Him and to His will. As I am called to be a mother to many I love all that God is teaching me and molding me into. He always does funny things in my life and I love how my first "children" are my own age! God is good and I love where He has me. More to come soon
I have been thinking over this verse for the past few weeks. What I have come to realize is that in the past, I have prayed for the faith to move the external mountains in my situations (money, broken car, lack of sleep, ministry). God has recently been showing me that the far bigger mountain to move is, well- me. As I turn my focus inward to my faith, my joys, my desires, my folly, my tendencies to screw up and ask God to help me move those mountains first, the external "mountains" now become tiny hills or just a bumpy road. The biggest wall to break through is my own spiritual barricades. Once I surrender those to God and we work them out, everything else seems easy traveling.
A recent mountain I have been moving :
- Learning how to lead a household/family
I came into this new season knowing that it would be difficult. But I think I may have underestimated it just a tad. I am so excited for everything that God has in store but prayers are more than welcomes. My faith is growing wonders even in the first week as I wake up early to seek God for the strength and wisdom to lead us towards Him and to His will. As I am called to be a mother to many I love all that God is teaching me and molding me into. He always does funny things in my life and I love how my first "children" are my own age! God is good and I love where He has me. More to come soon
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