My Finicky Heart

Last winter/summer (depending on where you live) I took part in an internship for Jabulani Africa Ministries (http://www.jamafrica.org.za) from beginning of June till a bit after August. I had no idea what to expect going to South Africa my first time. As I flew in to Cape Town over the gorgeous mountains, the townships with houses made of trash  and tin, my heart melted along with the purple glow of dawn. The journey to this journey was rough. Some complications arose I ended up flying in two week earlier than the team I would be interning with. Looking back, it was much better that way as it allowed God to personally connect with me and South Africa without the distraction of my good friends. I arrived around 6:00am and was immediately immersed in the ministry of JAM- jet lag never had a chance to catch up. We went to a township an hour away from the base- we lived in a WWII army base on the side of a mountain that was set up during the war "just in case". After loving on and sharing the gospel with a butt load of kids who had next to nothing we headed home. My tired mind was flooded with the day's experiences. And then I had THE thought that God planted... "Yeah God, I could live here." Little did I know what BIG things would come from that little thought. 

Long story short, Westside Family Church (from Kansas), who I am now helping start an international campus for as their youth ministry director, partnered with JAM to do a youth outreach over the whole of South Africa asked me to come and work for them. Surprised and completely caught off guard, the to-be worship pastor for the South African campus and global impacts pastor for the Kansas one and I prayed every night together for two weeks. And then God said "Go." By then, South Africa had won my heart time and time again with God's beautiful people and languages, the gross worms I ate, cold floors I slept on, paralyzing sunsets, and the immense need for love in a poverty stricken country. And since then, there has been this love affair with my home, and my home. 

It is a hard thing to live so far from those you love most. This has been one of my biggest struggles living here. Chatting with Jesus I would battle through the confusion of  why He would give me such love for things so far apart. I would live in the joy of obeying God's will of me serving in this beautiful country during the day and long for the joy of being with my loved ones at night. And then, Jesus answered. "No place, no people have your heart. I do." 

Hebrews 13:14-21 "For this world is not our home; we are looking forward to our city in heaven, which is yet to come. With Jesus' help, let us continually offer our sacrifice of praise to God by proclaiming the glory of his name. Don't forget to do good and to share what you have with those in need, for such sacrifices are very pleasing to God. Obey your spiritual leaders and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls, and they know they are accountable to God. Give them reason to do this joyfully and not with sorrow. That would certainly not be for your benefit. Pray for us, for our conscience is clear and we want to live honorably in everything we do.I especially need your prayers right now so that I can come back to you soon. And now, may the God of peace, who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, all that is pleasing to him. Jesus is the great Shepherd of the sheep by an everlasting covenant, signed with his blood. To him be glory forever and ever. Amen."   

My finicky heart gets too needy and full of so many things and people I love to love. Yet, too often I forget to love the One it belongs to, Jesus.