What's My Name Again?

"We do not need the grace of God to withstand crises—human nature and pride are sufficient for us to face the stress and strain magnificently. But it does require the supernatural grace of God to live twenty-four hours of every day as a saint, going through drudgery, and living an ordinary, unnoticed, and ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus. It is ingrained in us that we have to do exceptional things for God—but we do not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things of life, and holy on the ordinary streets, among ordinary people—and this is not learned in five minutes." -Oswald Chambers 

The quote above is from My Utmost For His Highest, the daily devotion I go through every morning. When I first started going "all-out" for Jesus, I was fueled by the exciting courage and boldness that came with my newly found security in Christ. I would wake up and throughout the day pray stuff like "God, give me the awesome strength in faith to do extraordinary things for you and your children." In my head, these things looked like healing blind and disabled people, preaching the gospel to masses of people and watching them surrender under the amazing love of Christ, entire schools changing with Godly influence, stone hearts melting... you know like the crazy warrior type stuff that is all over the bible. 

The past two weeks have been really hard. Without going into too much depth I was feeling unnoticed, ignored, and unappreciated. I repented countless times apologizing for something my heart, my flesh, longed for. But it was like a growing scab on my lungs; making me breathe heavy when my thoughts lingered on the hurt inside me. I knew that I should need not even  the sunlight if I had the love of God inside me for He can and will satisfy my every need if I let Him. But it wouldn't go.

Then, I read this morning's devotion and my prayers changed. 

"God, give me the strength to be ordinary, to go unnoticed, to be ignored."

"Discipleship is built entirely on the supernatural grace of God. Walking on water is easy to someone with impulsive boldness, but walking on dry land as a disciple of Jesus Christ is something altogether different. Peter walked on the water to go to Jesus, but he “followed Him at a distance” on dry land (Mark 14:54)."

To God, we are extraordinary. He notices us and thinks of us all the time and appreciates everything big and small we do because He knows our hearts and sees everything. I am learning that to live in the ordinary, unnoticed, with extraordinary love is much harder than if I were to walk on water. 

Hope everyone is doing well- love y'all. Be blessed today!

I Love You Because You Suck….

In bible college they teach you about the total depravity of man. Simply put, this is the understanding that man without God is capable of nothing good in word, thought, or deed. When one grasps this, it is impossible not to gravitate to complete humility. Looking back, we say and hear phrases all the time that start with "God loves me despite my…". I have thought nothing of it until this weekend. 

Friday and Saturday, all of the Westside Family Church staff (all 6 of us!) and some of our leaders attended the Leadership Summit Simulcast. We were blessed with teachings from the top leaders all over the world. One of the speakers(don't have my notes with me so I can't tell you their name- sorry!) talked about finding someone who loves you because of your faults and imperfections and not despite them. And then I thought about Jesus and how it is wrong to say He loves us despite our faults and imperfections. God is so much bigger than despite. Loving someone because they're imperfect is so much more significant than loving someone despite their imperfections. 

God created us with His loving breath and therefore knew/knows all that we would/will screw up. There is so much power behind knowing that He loves us because we are who we are, and not that He loves us even though we suck. 

This has been an awesome and exciting thing for me to put into practice. Our responsibility as Christ followers is to love people. Now, I constantly question myself, "Am I loving this person in spite of their baggage, or am I loving them because they have it?" This really gives your heart some incredible perspective on how we go about loving people outwardly and inwardly. 

Prayer Request: One of the women who lives with me is going through and incredible life changing circumstance that she is not  yet prepared for. Please pray for opportunities to open up for her and for wisdom for myself to lead her through this. -A bit vague but can't share much more details. 

Thank you all for your continued support! 

10 Ways To Love

I haven't had much time with internet to update y'all on anything. Things have been going around the same speed here. I have a few school assemblies this week. The youth has been growing in our church which is really awesome! Next week we will have a total of around 10 students attending our life group. Please pray that God will bring youth leaders to come along side and lead with me. Also if you all could pray for the health of my household. Myself, and the girls are struggling in this area. None of us have health insurance either. The list below is on a piece of paper I put up in our house. As easy as the below reads, it does not translate with how easy they are to live out. I struggle and strive to apply these to my relationships and interactions with others. Thought they might be some eye opening and heart opening things to try out. 


1.Listen without interrupting. (Proverbs 18)
2.Speak without accusing. (James 1:19)
3.Give without sparing. (Proverbs 21:26)
4.Pray without ceasing. (Colossians 1:9)
5.Answer without arguing. (Proverbs 17:1)
6.Share without pretending. (Ephesians 4:15)
7.Enjoy without complaint. (Philippians 2:14)
8.Trust without wavering. (Corinthians 13:7)
9.Forgive without punishing. (Colossians 3:13)
10.Promise without forgetting. (Proverbs 13:12)


Hope everyone is well. I love and miss you all! More updates to come soon as next week will be slightly less busy.