What's My Name Again?

"We do not need the grace of God to withstand crises—human nature and pride are sufficient for us to face the stress and strain magnificently. But it does require the supernatural grace of God to live twenty-four hours of every day as a saint, going through drudgery, and living an ordinary, unnoticed, and ignored existence as a disciple of Jesus. It is ingrained in us that we have to do exceptional things for God—but we do not. We have to be exceptional in the ordinary things of life, and holy on the ordinary streets, among ordinary people—and this is not learned in five minutes." -Oswald Chambers 

The quote above is from My Utmost For His Highest, the daily devotion I go through every morning. When I first started going "all-out" for Jesus, I was fueled by the exciting courage and boldness that came with my newly found security in Christ. I would wake up and throughout the day pray stuff like "God, give me the awesome strength in faith to do extraordinary things for you and your children." In my head, these things looked like healing blind and disabled people, preaching the gospel to masses of people and watching them surrender under the amazing love of Christ, entire schools changing with Godly influence, stone hearts melting... you know like the crazy warrior type stuff that is all over the bible. 

The past two weeks have been really hard. Without going into too much depth I was feeling unnoticed, ignored, and unappreciated. I repented countless times apologizing for something my heart, my flesh, longed for. But it was like a growing scab on my lungs; making me breathe heavy when my thoughts lingered on the hurt inside me. I knew that I should need not even  the sunlight if I had the love of God inside me for He can and will satisfy my every need if I let Him. But it wouldn't go.

Then, I read this morning's devotion and my prayers changed. 

"God, give me the strength to be ordinary, to go unnoticed, to be ignored."

"Discipleship is built entirely on the supernatural grace of God. Walking on water is easy to someone with impulsive boldness, but walking on dry land as a disciple of Jesus Christ is something altogether different. Peter walked on the water to go to Jesus, but he “followed Him at a distance” on dry land (Mark 14:54)."

To God, we are extraordinary. He notices us and thinks of us all the time and appreciates everything big and small we do because He knows our hearts and sees everything. I am learning that to live in the ordinary, unnoticed, with extraordinary love is much harder than if I were to walk on water. 

Hope everyone is doing well- love y'all. Be blessed today!